I’ve started this post a dozen times so far. Only to erase every word and start all over again. Maybe I was waiting for my lightbulb moment or some kind of epiphany. Wasn’t I supposed to wake up more confident? Where’s all that knowledge they talk about?
I used to wonder why everyone freaked out about turning 40. Often described as the “Big 4-Oh” or being “Over the Hill”—I guess it is kind of a big deal. Never mind the birthday parties where everything is decorated in black and tombstones are used as props. Why should turning 40 signal the beginning of “the end?” Sorry life, not if this chica has anything to do with it.
Celebrating my 40th birthday was filled with an abundance of love, great music, tacos, and a lot of bright colors. No tombstones here, just a lot of flowers. I think the last time I smiled this much was on my wedding day. And my heart. Oh my heart. It was beyond full. So full, I couldn’t contain what I was feeling. Of course there were tears that night. But, these were tears of pure happiness.
Just so you know, my life has been anything but ordinary. I promised myself growing up that I would not be like everyone else. God heard me and has blessed me with 40 years of a life unlike anyone I know. I’m not mad at that. I consider it all, yes even the bad, a blessing. Grateful to experience it all with an open heart and mind. Of course the bad sucks…I’ve cried more than I’d like. In fact, I still do. But, these are tears I’ve earned.
When I started thinking about writing this post, I figured I’d share what I’ve learned over the last 39 years of my life. Super basic, I know. Then I wanted to reach out to other women who are in there 40’s for their advice. But, writing and re-writing, I figured the only way you’ll learn to be any age is to just live. Just be you. Comfortably you. In your own skin and as authentically as possible.
As for me, I’m choosing to walk into this 40th year as grateful as I can be. Honest about my body changing and realistic about my mind. Perfectly imperfect at life. I know this is not even close to being “the end” of anything. Instead, it will be my beginning.